April Fools – Toilet
Lift the toilet seat and apply plastic wrap over the bowl.
Put down the seat and wait for someone to do their business.
Cow Poop
Birds, Birds in the sky
Dropped a poopy in my eye,
I don’t worry, I don’t cry,
I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!
What’s the difference between your momma and a washing machine?
When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn’t follow me around.
Funny Music Facebook Status
If my ears were vaginas I would be giving birth to baby *insert artist name*’s 9 months from now.
Funny Marriage Line
Getting married is similar to going to a restaurant with your friends.
You place your order, then when you see what the other person ordered, you wish you had that.
Why are our husbands like lawn-mowers?
It’s hard to get them started, they emit foul odors, and they don’t work half the time!
What’s it called when a blonde dies her hair another color?
Artificial intelligence
Transgender Truths
I saw a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic today.
It read: ‘We may never piss this way again!’
Why don’t blondes breastfeed their babies?
It hurts when they have to boil their nipples.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With a straw.
Married People
coming soon
How did a redneck die while drinking milk?
His cow sat on him.
Ask friends this and get funny replies!
Imagine that I have been locked up in jail.
What crime do you think I have committed?
Balayya Moon
NASA sent balayya to Moon. BAA got into the rocket, after going half the way BAA jumped back shouting “Idiots, today is amavasya, There will be no moon!
A handy fact
Birthdays are said to be good for you. Accurate statistics show that that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest.
Bisaya Joke
Boy: Bless me father for I have sinned..
Pari: Go ahead child..
Boy: Nanglili ko ug babae, naligo man tu cya, kita iyang dughan, daku kaayo ug totoy, puti kaayo ug paa, nya gahubo ug panty..
Pari: Unsa pa?
Boy: Wa na kay ni-brown out man.
Pari: Atay ning Meralco oi!